Truly. Deeply. Madly

This is where things get weird and random. I'm talking through it to try and nail down its general geography, and thereby to get an idea of how to rewire the illogical and dysfunctional bits. Please don't think any of this means I'm coming apart at the seams -- if anything, the fact that I'm able to do this right now means that I'm digging my way up the other slope. You're not watching a breakdown here, if anything came close to that (and it didn't, really,) it was last week, before I said anything. What you're seeing now is the post-mortem of the event.

That said, hugs, headpats, 'yeah, me too' comments, and comments in general are definitely welcome. There's little reason to be putting this stuff out there, after all, if not for the chance that it may help someone aside from myself to do so.

( The things that aren't so obvious in the pattern. )

( You ever get the idea your life's trying to tell you something? )

So if any of you really don't want to read about any of this shit, then this is probably the time to either defriend me, or to begin filtering. Though I had really rather know it when folks tune me out. It spares me wondering why they aren't there, you know?
Fair warning, eh?

It's been awhile since I've done an out-loud State of the Clue post.

Part of this has been because of the environment LJ has become since December, and part of it has been just my own futile hope that if I didn't name the demons, I could just ignore them until they got bored and went away. An old strategy from school, that; cling to your dignity, no matter else they may take from you, and the bullies will eventually go away and find someone they can make cry. Trouble is, demons aren't the same as bullies. They're smarter, subtler, and have just as much fun poisoning the atmosphere as they do ripping a heart out or burning a live down.

So. Now that I've given you the foreshadowing you'll want in order to wisely choose to have no part of this following mental vomitorium, please feel free to scroll on by and enjoy a day filled with Pretty Things Kissing, or puppies, or lolcats, or economics, or whatever makes you feel your happy place is complete, okay?

( And I keep thinking tomorrow is coming today, so I am endlessly waiting. )

( I want to be a helicopter! )