The first thing you should know, is that I will eventually disappoint you. This is inevitable, me being human, and representing myself to you through no other medium than this computer screen. Also, I will thrill you, delight you, make you laugh, make you groan, make you mad, make you glad, and possibly even make you feel a little naughty.
What can I say? It's just a little thing I do.
If you can cope with all that, you're welcome to stay. So long as you don't throw poo.
Age Statement -- My age is none of your business, but I'm old enough to buy pornography in any country where it's legally sold.